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Bought to Rot

by Laura Jane Grace

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trashbinch
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trashbinch This is what you hear as you cross the event horizon into m87 Favorite track: The Friendship Song.
Maurice Johnson
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Maurice Johnson I love Laura Jane Grace. Her music is so honest and heavy and just rocks! Favorite track: I Hate Chicago.
ChopperxDave
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ChopperxDave Been a fan since 98 and Laura still kicks as much ass as she did back then. Cannot wait to get my record in the mail. Favorite track: Reality Bites.
Gwynncore
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Gwynncore Bought to Rot is just what I hoped it would be, a folkish- rockin' ride filled with Laura's cynical, yet also wholeheartedly personal lyrics and stories. An amazing and often very relatable album. Favorite track: Valeria Golino.
q
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q Love the vibe, lyrics that are a mouthful and still always work, catchy enough to get stuck in my head for a week without ever getting annoying. Good shit for a road trip or a day stuck in the hospital. Favorite track: Reality Bites.
aliss_blackout_hrt_bandits
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aliss_blackout_hrt_bandits Thanks for the strength of people like LJG for letting me know I could be strong enough and show moments of weakness in my own transition. The first taste of the new album is great. Edit: Can't wait to get my physical CD... Favorite track: Reality Bites.
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1.
China Beach 02:04
Learn to trust yourself, no one else matters Respect the source and always welcome failure There is a door, there is a key Two ears to listen, one mouth to speak Doubt is the enemy, you want out of where and you want in when? Don’t get confused, get up, get up, get up, do it again What are you made of, what do you dress it up in? Who do you service, where does the power rest? Say my name, now, say it again Are you my enemy and are we at war? What’s the happy ending? Where’s the home you’re heading? Are you the hunter? Am I the prey? Don’t Breathe, don’t swallow Don’t Breathe, don’t swallow Don’t Breathe, don’t swallow Nowhere to run, nowhere to hide Psychotic need Psychotic feed Psychotic shakes Psychotic break What a strange, strange room to arrive in You got something to say? Why are you looking at me man? You got something to say? Go ahead and fucking say it man! Behind the door, behind the curtain You’ll always find what you go looking for Sleep on a win, you’re going to wake up losing I say what I mean, I just, I say what I mean eventually
Are you my enemy and are we at war? Am I the hunter? Are you the prey? Don’t Breathe, don’t swallow Don’t Breathe, don’t swallow Don’t Breathe, don’t swallow Don’t Breathe, don’t swallow Don’t Breathe, don’t swallow Don’t Breathe, don’t swallow Nowhere to run, nowhere to hide
2.
Dancing towards the abyss You and me swallowed up by a black hole In perpetual concession Infinite distance, eternal displacement I cannot escape the pull Fall into the collapse, let the time stretch Doorways to the unknown, where hurt becomes love and pain is happiness Born in black, we’ve only ever wanted to go back Born in black, explode out of the ether, abandoned back into it Dancing toward the abyss You and me swallowed up by a black hole In perpetual concession I think I understand it now I cannot escape the pull Fall into the collapse, let the time stretch The great distance unknown This way to the exit, there’s no turning back Born in black, we’ve only ever wanted to go back Born in black, explode out of the ether, abandoned back into it Born in black, we’ve only ever wanted to go back Born in black, explode out of the ether, abandoned back into it Born in black, we’ve only ever wanted to go back Born in black, suicide medicine, kill yourself to live Born in black, we knew where this was going, sweet illicit death Born in black, this is where we begin, this is where we end
3.
There’s an airplane with an empty seat Flying over the ocean towards me Bought the ticket but you didn’t show Whole affair was over before it was even time to go You’re mine, you’re mine I’m yours Torn between two lovers Final boarding and the cabin doors close Cruising altitude and then the drinks are served You’re not there drinking white wines complimentary You’re not popping valiums, you’re not watching free movies All trips come to an end Some of them never begin You’re mine, you’re mine I’m yours Torn between two lovers You’re mine, you’re mine I’m yours Can’t have either or the other You’re mine, you’re mine I’m yours Torn between two lovers Torn between two lovers Always wanted to fall in love with an actor Be okay with whomever they’re kissing that day It’s only work, you know, we’ve all got to get paid Not sure I’m ready for that but I’m sure I’m ready to change What do pleasures of the flesh mean anyway? We’re all growing old, all in decay You’re mine, you’re mine I’m yours Torn between two lovers You’re mine, you’re mine I’m yours Can’t have either or the other You’re mine, you’re mine I’m yours Torn between two lovers You’re mine, you’re mine I’m yours Can’t have either or the other You say I love you, I’m not sure you do You say that I love you and I’m torn between two lovers You say I love you, I’m not sure you do You say that I love you and I’m torn between two lovers
4.
You make me walk away from the hate I carry Same page, same ways, so effortlessly I’ll put faith in you if you put faith in me If we want it, it could be that easy On top of the world at the end of the world with you Don’t ever hold back what you’re saying to me Don’t ever restrain, just be I never half measure anything If it’s worth it to you, that’s where I want to be On top of the world at the end of the world with you On top of the world at the end of the world with you There’s nothing that can hold me back Don’t have happy ever after just have here and now On the Samhain of our souls watch the world burn in fire The bliss of your kiss in the apocalypse On top of the world at the end of the world with you On top of the world at the end of the world with you On top of the world at the end of the world On top of the world at the end of the world On top of the world at the end of the world with you
5.
Please say something Your stutter gives me calm I know there’s no rush to get there They get you wrong It really turns me on I have no patience for them You are so real You are so real You are so real Your lazy eye Lets you hold them in your stare You can catch and release them What does it say Of someone who does not care They can’t see the advantage You are so real You are so real You are so real No one wants to be themselves They all want to be someone else You didn’t try to get there Incongruous, it says something but no one’s ever listening They kill themselves just to get there You are so real You are so real You are so real Yeah, you are so real Yeah, you are so real Yeah, you are so real
6.
The door is locked to my Amsterdam Hotel Room Housekeeping knows not to bother me I’ll leave the room clean Take my trash with me Thankful for the hospitality I am a stranger in your city And I can’t decide which song to dance with the Marchesa too Dr. Dieu is up to his old shit again, sure looks handsome standing there in red Spend the day with high society Then crawl back to my room, make sure no one’s stolen anything I want you to come try to find me So I’m trying to manifest that kind of energy I want you to come try to find me Hiding out in my Amsterdam Hotel Room Hiding out in my Amsterdam Hotel Room Run laps in Vondel park evading unseen antagonists Champagne haze and solid jams soundtrack the transcendence The more that I can leave behind the less I have to carry What seems so real in the ether is always gone, gone in the morning Curtains drawn, blinds down, covers pulled tight up over my head I can’t see out and nobody can see in and I don’t know where the party is but I know how it ends 32 Beaufort Gardens, a grave plot in Brompton cemetery Pop a top of Desperado, roll another J It doesn’t have to be good to be remembered tasting that way I want you to come try to find me Hiding out in my Amsterdam Hotel Room Hiding out in my Amsterdam Hotel Room I want you to come try to find me So I’m trying to manifest that kind of energy I want you to come try to find me Hiding out in my Amsterdam Hotel Room Hiding out in my Amsterdam Hotel Room Freaking the fuck out in my Amsterdam Hotel Room Hiding out in my Amsterdam Hotel Room
7.
You and me are two in the same, we both push until it breaks And if it’s going to cave we’re going to give it all of our weight No, we don’t need no defense, spoken out on our behalf If we’re reprehensible, then we like it like that No, I don’t have many friends I only ever seem to fuck over them You’re not like the rest of them You accept me for who I am And I don’t judge you for it, and that’s what friendship is You and me would make a great team in an apocalypse scenario Gotta know when to lead gotta know when to lay back and follow I know you wouldn’t hesitate to eat an arm to save a leg You’re a survivor like me and goddamnit I like that No, I don’t have many friends I only ever seem to fuck over them You’re not like the rest of them You accept me for who I am And I don’t judge you for it, and that’s what friendship is You and me can be hard to take, we’ve got alligator mouths and hummingbird wings We can see ourselves out, always find a way back in All alone, it’s not the same but together we’ve got a really good thing Let’s try not to fuck it up, I’ll always meet you halfway No, I don’t have many friends I only ever seem to fuck over them You’re not like the rest of them You accept me for who I am Please forgive me for who I am And I don’t judge you for it, and that’s what friendship is And I don’t judge you for it and that’s what friendship is
8.
I hate the city of Chicago Man, this place feels like nowhere And the traffic makes getting nowhere take that much longer I hate the Cubs, the Sox, the Blackhawks, and the Bulls I could give a shit about the Pumpkins, Slint or Wilco Learn how to make a pizza you fucking jack offs Say “Hello” back whens someone says “Hello” you asshole I hate O’hare, I hate Midway, I can’t stand Chicago The best part is leaving cause maybe one day I’ll never come back again And if I die in this shithole, float my corpse down the Calumet Cause I’d rather rot in Gary Miller Beach may actually be paradise Alright, Christ, you caught me, this is actually just another divorce song Maybe it’s not all of Cook County’s fault But it feels like another dogshit day in suck city Jesus Christ, could you assholes at least learn how to drive Fuck XRT and Fuck Lollapalooza You and all your self righteous hipster hoods can go to hell I especially hate Bridgeport cause that’s where she lives For every reason that she loves it, I can’t stand Chicago But when I head North on Lakeshore Drive I fly and I close my eyes And I reach the magic point and I run for magic miles Yeah ,when I head North on Lakeshore Drive I fly and I close my eyes And I reach the magic point and I run for magic miles Lake Michigan becomes an ocean And I know somewhere beyond it is waiting just for me No matter how high you dickheads build it, you’ll only ever be in Illinois And that will always be way too close to Missouri
9.
Please come down now and go to sleep Tomorrow’s already here today
Stop thinking and just try to dream Please come down now and go to sleep Walk with you through hotel gardens Overlooking the Balearic Sea (Iberian Sea) Columbus flowers and Bella Donna blooming into the ether forever vanishing… yeah Please come down now and go to sleep Tomorrow’s already here today
Stop thinking and just try to dream Please come down now and go to sleep
10.
I need something or someone to keep me sane. Otherwise, I’m going to waste another day staring at my fucking phone thinking about everyone and everything I fucking hate and how life is never going to change. I’m not sure what I look forward to anymore, but I welcome sleep and only will smoking weed kill the dread and the anxiety. Try to recognize privilege present and I’m thankful for good fortune. Don’t want to sound ungrateful or like I can’t see the good going… But I can’t help what my head is telling me I can’t stop myself from listening Manic Depression, yeah Endless obsessions, yeah Manic Depression… I can see everything you show me but you don’t say anything. I’m so fucking over indirect vagueness, if you lack passion just stop trying. How can I justify complicity when you’re standing right in front of me? I can see what I can see and that needs no apology. I need something or someone to relieve the tension and the anxiety. Give me sex or drugs or destruction, some kind of excitement please. Even if it’s terrifying, shake the, smack the shit out of me. Turn me upside down otherwise I’m going to drink and drink and drink Cause I can’t help what my head is telling me I can’t stop myself from listening Manic Depression, yeah Endless obsessions, yeah No, I can’t help what my head is telling me I can’t stop myself from listening Manic Depression, yeah Endless obsessions, yeah Manic Depression… Endless obsessions, yeah Manic Depression…
11.
Catholic girl from Montreal She talked heavy and strong And I was okay with it Bullet in the street Looks like luck to me No doubt we’re tangled now It’s happened before Has yet to ever work out Cut me off a strip of hits Be careful with that shit All the songs that I could sing for you Will never mean anything to you Only heard what your name was Never said where my faith was Catholic girl from Saint Louis She talked stoned, rambling on And I was okay with it Franchised youth groups Primitive baptist Double parked at the Vatican You’re leaving with her I think I’m not okay with it Cut me off a strip of hits Be careful with that shit All the songs that I could sing for you Will never mean anything to you Only heard what your name was I never said where my faith was All the songs that I could sing for you Will never mean anything to you All the songs that I could sing for you Will never mean anything to you All the songs that I could sing for you Will never mean anything to you Only heard what your name was I never said where my faith was
12.
Make your best move, I’m going to let you win I’m not about trying to feel threatened Empty a bottle in a bucket in a puddle by an unmade hotel queen bed It’s about check out time Alright, I’m coming Always be preparing to leave Always keep dropping what you don’t need And be going before love becomes disappointing Always be preparing to leave Always keep dropping what you don’t need And be gone before love turns to resentment I want something from you, even though I shouldn’t ask for it I want something from you even though I can’t receive it Two beats longer to hold onto then I’m going to make a sudden and destructive action Like say something I don’t mean, say something hurtful and foolish Always be preparing to leave Always keep dropping what you don’t need And be going before love becomes disappointing Always be preparing to leave Always keep dropping what you don’t need And be gone before love turns to resentment I sleep in my jeans and I die in my sleep I sleep in my jeans and I die in my sleep I sleep in my jeans and I die in my sleep I’ll be gone in the morning
13.
She hasn’t done a thing since ’97 but she’s slowly building for a rally Exercise and rest, eating a healthy diet Singular in focus and concept What I’ve said has destroyed me mouth My words were misanthropic Now my teeth are falling out of my head I don’t have much time left to say something It doesn’t do it for me It doesn’t do it for me I need eye contact I need eye contact It doesn’t do it for me It doesn’t do it for me It doesn’t do it for me It doesn’t do it for me She hasn’t done a thing since ’97 but she’s slowly building for a rally Exercise and rest, eating a healthy diet Singular in focus and concept What I’ve said has destroyed me mouth My words were misanthropic Now my teeth are falling out of my head I don’t have much time left to say something Now I can take a beating, wake up strong in the morning Keep the punches coming I’m novocaine numb, I can’t feel fuck all nothing Your perception is not my purpose So what if a camera recorded While I lay naked on the table I was completely motionless I let everything happen But she could not make me orgasm It doesn’t do it for me It doesn’t do it for me I need eye contact I need eye contact It doesn’t do it for me It doesn’t do it for me I need eye contact I need eye contact I need eye contact I need eye contact
14.
My apologies for however I’ve fucked up Don’t want your life to be any harder than it has to Sometimes letting go is showing love Just because I’m gone doesn’t mean that you weren’t enough Want you to ride easy, rest assured You’re always more than enough no matter what you’ve got Want you to ride easy, rest assured You belong where you are and you can go wherever the fuck you damn well want My apologies for however I have yet to fuck up One day you’ll learn from your mistakes too Most everyone doesn’t know just what they’ve got For you my love will burn eternal Want you to ride easy, rest assured You’re always more than enough no matter what you’ve got Want you to ride easy, rest assured You belong where you are and you can go wherever the fuck in the world you want

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released November 9, 2018

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Laura Jane Grace Chicago, Illinois

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