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At War With The Silverfish

by Laura Jane Grace

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1.
Three of hearts Two of them are broken One of them is gold All of them are worthless None of them add up to the three of spades It’s the highest card that you can play Not gonna win But I’m in the game All I’ve got to lose Don’t want anyway Wear it on my sleeve I’m yours to cheat I’m the surest sucker that you’ll ever see A contest of indifference Has never made a difference What makes now any different? I will give to you my complete deference Three of hearts Two of them are broken One of them is gold All of them are worthless None of them add up to the three of spades It’s the highest card that you can play What’s the biggest risk that you’re will to take Come on and place your losing bets on m
2.
Lolo 13 02:41
I asked for your name 3 times Just to make sure that I heard it right You told me my jeans don’t fit right Said that we should make-out sometime Are you flirting? I’m still not certain You’re a real person Yet still I’m searching for… A girl in a city that I dreamed of We met on a night that my mind made up It all felt so real Why’d I ever have to wake up? Lolo where’d you go, where’d you go? I lost you in the morning cause I couldn’t fall back into you Lolo where’d you go, where’d you go? I lost you in the morning cause I couldn’t fall back into you Does the mirror have two sides? Are you waking up in your real life? Too much fun to have in this life? Will you find me on the other side? I’m not joking Astral Projection I feel connected I won’t stop searching for… A girl in a city that I dreamed of We met on a night that my mind made up It all felt so real Why’d I ever have to wake up? Lolo where’d you go, where’d you go? I lost you in the morning cause I couldn’t fall back into you Lolo where’d you go, where’d you go? I lost you in the morning cause I couldn’t fall back into you I couldn’t fall back into you
3.
Way out here on the edge of oblivion May as well be Skokie, you’d have been so lucky for Berwyn R/F waves roll and expand over 1900 miles of alleyway 1900 miles of alleyway Well things will get back then things will get worse It goes from straight up worthless to nothing left of any fucking worth Shit, fuck, cuss, goddamn Fresh hell in the morning New daze every dawn The soap tastes bitter and the scrubbing leaves you raw The soap tastes bitter and the scrubbing leaves you raw Long dark night, Long cold days Wake up changed everything stays the same Long dark night, long cold days Wake up changed, But the story remains The story remains Well keep your eyes on the ground, mother fucker get down You’re not welcome here in this or any other side of town Chin up hard shoulders What you got to give? Leave it all on the table, shut the fuck up and throw it down Shut the fuck up and sit back down Long dark night, Long cold days Wake up changed everything stays the same Long dark night, long cold days Wake up changed, But the story remains The story remains
4.
I am thankful to be invited into your beautiful home I am thankful to be invited into your beautiful home I’ll share the air Drink of your water Sit on your veranda Enjoy some of the summer Night air, not humid like it was when I was young Too north, not deep south which is where I come from This is what we have become Look into the mirror and see all the years gone Listen to the music and talk about what it was like When we were young Remember friends we once were now gone Remember friends we once were now gone Remember friends we once were now gone I am thankful to be invited into your beautiful home I am thankful to be invited into your beautiful home I am thankful to be invited into your beautiful home I am thankful to be invited into your beautiful home
5.
Day old coffee microwaved to boiling Pour it on my eyeballs and boil my dumb shit brains out Day old coffee microwaved to boiling Pour it on my eyeballs and boil my dumb shit brains out Cause I don’t ever want to hear or think or speak again I don’t ever want to hear or think or speak again Cause I don’t ever want to hear or think or speak again I don’t ever want to hear or think or speak again What’s with all the questions? To whom do I owe the pleasure? To whom do I owe the obligation And if I lose the thread put it down and come back again And if I lose the thread put it down and come back again Day old coffee microwaved to boiling Day old coffee microwaved to boiling Day old coffee microwaved to boiling Pour it on my eyeballs and boil my dumb shit brains out
6.
Can’t remember our last cigarette Can’t remember our last kiss Don’t know how I’m going to win this war but I know I’m wrong for fighting it Some nights I dream myself far away from here Some nights I dream you’d still want to hold me near Wake up changed but everything remains the same Past behind us All our choices made I am no arbiter of bad faith Hey you sitting there with your smug fuckface Will anything ever be good again? If I was kind would you drop your defense? If I was kind would it make any difference? If I was kind would it earn your forgiveness? Oh fuck it all, let’s just forget about it
7.
I know I sound insane I know I sound insane I know I sound insane… but it was only yesterday I watched you drive away I still remember our last kiss It was only yesterday… That we got high in the gardens Danced the night away Dropped our defense in the magic of the moment Only yesterday, for me nothing has changed For it was only yesterday So you can give me back my silver chain But baby, baby please do keep the switchblade I know I sound insane I know I sound insane I know I sound insane… But it was only yesterday I watched you drive away I still remember our last kiss It was only yesterday… That we got high in the gardens Danced the night away Dropped our defense in the magic of the moment Only yesterday, for me nothing has changed For it was only yesterday So you can give me back my silver chain But baby, baby please, please, please, please do keep the switchblade Yeah you can give me back my silver chain But baby, baby please do keep the switchblade

about

“These are songs of late night madness and loneliness, orphan songs that came wandering in looking to feed like insects,” Laura Jane Grace says of her new EP.

Half recorded at Grace’s TinyQuietStudio in Chicago and half recorded at Electric Eel in St. Louis, and mixed by her Devouring Mothers bandmate Marc Hudson, At War With The Silverfish finds Grace in a range of stripped-back, poignant modes that amount to an honest and holistic account of our shared humanity. Unafraid to spotlight open wounds and tangled feelings, Grace conveys the distinctive pluck that has defined her work with Against Me! and The Devouring Mothers, but with the intimate energy of home recording with an acoustic guitar. The album is not a clarion call, but a tender invitation. It is a necessary capsule of a woman’s artistic pulse; love, longing and loneliness told in affecting turns of phrase.

“Three of hearts/Two of them are broken/One of them is gold/All of them are worthless,” she sings on opener “Three of Hearts,” admitting later that she’s the “...surest sucker that you’ll ever see.” This vulnerable posture drives much of that album, like on “Lolo 13,” where Grace pines for a love she never had, and on “Yesterday Pt. II,” where she remembers a lover’s goodbye with visceral intensity. “I know I sound insane,” she repeats three times on the latter, imparting anxiety and resolve at once. It’s a device she employs through the record, deftly illustrating the mental gymnastics on the roads to self doubt and self acceptance.

Amid the emotional outpouring are piercing scenes of isolated domestic life — the endless cups of reheated java (“Day Old Coffee”), the relief of reconnecting with an old friend (“Electro-Static Sweep”). And then there is her old friend, Chicago, a city by now her home but not without its pain points. “Way out here on the edge of oblivion/May as well be Skokie, you’d have been so lucky for Berwyn,” she sings on “Long Dark Night,” surveying the landscape of her new Northside home, not the “hip” part of town but one vital to its cultural diversity.

Reflecting on the album’s interiority, Grace acknowledges the universal nature of many of its themes — how her highly personal accounts bloom into broader human connection. “I've learned that if you share your experience with good intentions that the universe will always surprise you with abundant return,” she says. “Every song is an act of faith; you don't necessarily know why you're singing it other than you know you've got to sing it.”

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released September 22, 2021

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Laura Jane Grace Chicago, Illinois

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